our (not so much) teeny tiny teddy bear

When Taj was born and he was in the Childrens Hospital in Melbourne, my dear friend/surrogate little sister Emily came to visit us and she brought this gorgeous hat for Taj. When I first saw it I thought it was just beautiful, but like alot of his clothes, it was packed away safely as there was NO chance it was going to fit him. In fact, this hat looked like a tent that he could have curled up inside quite easily, let alone wear it as an actual hat.

This morning we made the usual treck to drop off Lee to work, and because it was a bit of a chilly night, I decided to put a hat on, couldn't find his normal one, and saw this one instead. It still looked MILES too big but I figured I could just tie it up or something. But sure enough, it fit!!! Lee isn't a big fan of kids clothes with 'ears', but even he had a hard time not thinking this was the cutest thing ever. :)

in honour of our little buggalugs....

I would easily be one of the most painful people to tattoo. :) Thankfully Lee and I know our tattoo artist, Squirell, so it's not so bad, but I am really a shocker. I squirm, I fidget, I hurl and pass out (ok, a slight exhageration - just :P) but this is the result of two sessions and a couple hours of well worth it pain. :) 

This is my second tattoo, I got my first one (below) last year in memory of our son Brock, and I love having his name on me forever.

He was born just under 20 weeks so in the eyes of the law it wasn't required for us to register his birth/death and therefore he didn't get a birth certificate. We have, however, been very lucky to have him officially listed on Taj's birth certificate as our son and Taj's brother. I love Brock's tattoo, but I always feel a bit sad when I look at it. I'd always wanted to get a tattoo but I don't really like to 'show it off' (if that makes sense). So when Taj was born I wanted to get a tattoo for him. Something bright and cheery and happy, just like him, and also one that people could see and go 'wow, nice tattoo, who's Taj?' and I can go 'Taj is my son, and here he is, isn't he gorgeous?' :) So, I got his handprint and footprint (taken when he was 4 months), his name and also a crown. I chose a crown because we were told by one of the nurses at the Womens' that in India, Taj means 'regal' and 'king'. After we found that out it occurred to us that Brock and Taj have that 'King' link with Brock's middle name being Kingsley. :) I also wanted to get a tattoo for Taj, for the pain factor. He went through so much pain in the first 3 months of his life and he was so tough and brave and such a little fighter. So even though I am pathetic when getting a tattoo, I wanted to be 'tough' for him  and go though some pain as well and get something in his honour. :)

I have a feeling he approves.... :)

A brief history of Taj (so far...)

Taj Albert Thompson, born 22/03/2010 1.496 kg, looking like a robo-baby.

This was my first cuddle with Taj, 30 hours after he was born. I was moved around the hospital about 4 times and got a bit lost in the system and because Lee was with Taj, I guess they didn't rate cuddles with Mum high up on the list. I've made up for it ten-fold since. ;)

Wired for sound

My handsome hubby and our beautiful boy.

 

Gorgeous balloons and flowers but THE worst tasting jelly beans ever!

Cherished cuddles with Daddy :)

 Benjamin Button :)

Big smiles at his second home, The Royal Childrens Hospital.

First ever bottle feed

Finally wearing clothes! Premmie sized pumpkin patch miles too big, he makes them look like dolls clothes now :)

 

Finally in an open cot - woohoo!!

 

Finally in Bendigo and first cuddles with Grandma.

 

Long-awaited cuddles with Grandpa.

 

Being doted on by Gran and Grandad

 

 FINALLY HOME!!! 24/05/2010

Photos taken by our dear friend Anglea

At Grandma and Grandpa's house not long after he started to really smile. He hasn't stopped since.

 

Taj and Aunty Min

 

Big cuddles with big cousin Ty, they adore each other. :)

 

A sign of things to come :)

 

Me and my favourite lil men :)

 

Ty is such an awesome big cousin, he adores Taj and Taj loves him right back :)

My boys :)

Me and my Buggalugs :)

 

This is the smile that can turn the worst day into the best day

 

My blue-eyed boys

 

Completely different baby from in the first photo. We are so so lucky. :) :)

Where has 2010 gone????

Right here....

It's hard to believe it's almost been six months since I've updated this blog, it only feels like yesterday, but so much has happened!!

Taj ended up being sent back to Bendigo on the 7th (I think...) of May 2010 and he spent 2 weeks in the SCBU at the Bendigo Hospital before FINALLY coming home on the 23rd of May 2010. The staff at Bendigo were magnificent and we were also lucky enough to meet some beautiful Mums/Dads and Bubs as well who we've kept in contact with.

Coming home with Taj that first night was totally surreal. We both got no sleep what so ever, even though we'd been parents for 8 weeks, it felt like we were brand new parents and honestly had no idea what to do!!! Being parents has not been easy, it's been bloody tough, there have been arguments and tears and hissy fits, but to be honest, one smile from Taj makes it all worth it. Lee and I are adjusting as well. The first month after Taj came home was report writing time for Lee, I knew it was important, but to be honest, to me, report writing was secondary, and as soon as Lee got home from school, instead of giving him time to relax and then focus on reports, I was giving him Taj straight away because I needed a break. Selfish, I know, huh? Needless to say, report writing is coming up again and we are much more prepared. :)

I adore being a Mum. Taj is just the most amazing, beautiful, sweet little man and I can't imagine my life without him. :) I know it might sound a bit cliche, but there is honestly no other love like the love that I feel for Taj. Lee and I look at each other sometimes and say 'we made him' and are very very proud of ourselves. :D I've been lucky enough to meet and make some awesome friends since becomming a Mum as well. The Mums and gorgeous Bubs through the Mothers Group and also our neighbours and their awesome kids across the road from where we live. :) We have also been blessed by our amazing friends and family who supported us through everything. We would not have been able to make it this far without anyone of them, it blows me away some days how much support we had. *massive group hug*

Well, it's time for the little man's bottle, so I'd better sign off. I'm looking forward to blogging again very very soon. :)

Luv Natt XO

Meow...

 

No original photo today sorry, this is the best I could come up with.

It would be very very easy to go on and on about what a crappy day it's been and chuck a huge hissy fit, about how completely jacked off we are with the stupid dumb procedural crap that is currently stopping us from getting to Bendigo, about how much I reeeeally don't like Melbourne, the noise, the traffic etc etc and about how much all we want is to be somewhere, just the three of us, all happy and healthy, with no nurses, doctors, other patients or babies. It's only just occurred to me today that Lee, Taj and I have not been in a room by ourselves in the 6 weeks since he was born. There has always been nurses/doctors/other babies/other parents, the doctors/nurses I don't mind so much, they're vital at the moment. But today, I came very very close to having a slight grrrr at the family next to Taj who came to visit their bub. Normally all well and good until I saw that after they entered the room, so did their two young daughters, the grandfather and at least 3 other relatives...not bad considering there are only meant to be 3 visitors at a time including the parents. If I remember rightly I'm pretty sure the words 'You have to be kidding me' left my mouth at a fairly audible volume and many thanks to the nurse who heard me and quickly ushered them out the room again. Some people really are knobs. ;)

Instead I'll focus on the awesome fact that Taj is out of his plastic box and in an open cot and doing well - yay!! He's almost officially a big boy!

*thanks to whoever took/made this pic, I take no credit for it at all  :)*

Introducing...

Our pride and joy.

Not so teeny tiny, but still pint-sized and doing very well. :) It seems he's inherited my temper and stubbornness much to the delight of the doctors and nurses, but we honestly believe it's one of the things that's gotten him through the worst...it's almost like you could see him thinking 'you think I'm sick? Nuh-uh! I ain't sick darn it!!' He's also been nick-named Prince Charming by a couple of the nurses. Personally I think we're pretty bloody clever for making something so beautiful. :)

Anyhoo, that's it for today. No road trips either, looks like Monday at this stage...*please please please* :)

maybe today

Just a quick one as we're hopefully making a bit of a road-trip, providing there's a bed free at Bendigo Hospital. FINALLY!!! :) 

This lovely contraption has been part of every day life since Taj was born. Some days it's been a life saver (quite literally) other days it's been the thing we've stared at for hours on end, almost as entertaining as the infomercials on at 3am! I love and hate this monitor. I can't wait to see the end of it, yet the thought of that is a little bit scarey. Life as we knew it 8 weeks ago is long gone, but don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not complaining, it's just all part of parenthood. :) 

And while I'm still on the serious, deep and meaningful train, this is something we found a few weeks ago...I certainly won't say it necessarily describes me, it could be any parent really, but it's certainly a tear-jerker. And it helps on those 'woe is me'/angry at God and the whole world days.

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger. "Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew. Marjorie Forrest, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia. Carrie Rutledge, twins. Patron Saint ... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity." Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a premmie."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'mama' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see – ignorance, cruelty, prejudice – and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles.
"A mirror will suffice."

 

the second one...

I had the idea to do this blog a couple of days ago but haven't been able to set it all up etc until now, so I'm gonna make up for it with a few photos. Ooooh yay. :)

I don't need to state the bleedin' obvious, but this is us. We look freakin tired, almost at the end of our tether emotionally, but despite that, still head over heels in love with each other (yep, soppy, I know :P) and our little man Taj, the reason why we're down here. He was born at 32 weeks, perfect but tiny, and being looked after currently by the amazingly amazing staff at the Childrens Hospital in Melbourne. This was taken a couple of days ago on St Kilda beach, near where we're staying with our wonderful friends, Kate and Lucas.

A few other pics as well. I don't ever ever want to live in Melbourne permanently, but while there are places around like this, it doesn't make it so bad. I'm definitely a country bumpkin through and through. :) The last 8 weeks has been rough, but while Taj is still down here, there is no place either of us would rather be. We've met some wonderful people while we've been down here, hopefully new friends that we will have for a very long time. Our families and friends back home (in multiple towns/states) are the ones who have gotten us through. There aren't enough words to say thankyou to every one of you, we are blessed.

the first one...

I've decided to re-enter the wonderful world of the blog while we're temporarily living down in Melbourne, mainly as a creative outlet to keep sane while I'm away from home and normality, I've seen a few blogs that have got the great idea of posting a different photo every day and thought I'd give that a shot too. I'm far from being an Annie Leibovitz or Angela Stewart (Ange definitely being my favourite of the two...) but I'll have a go and see what happens.

Enjoy! :)