Just a quick one as we're hopefully making a bit of a road-trip, providing there's a bed free at Bendigo Hospital. FINALLY!!! :)
This lovely contraption has been part of every day life since Taj was born. Some days it's been a life saver (quite literally) other days it's been the thing we've stared at for hours on end, almost as entertaining as the infomercials on at 3am! I love and hate this monitor. I can't wait to see the end of it, yet the thought of that is a little bit scarey. Life as we knew it 8 weeks ago is long gone, but don't get me wrong, I'm definitely not complaining, it's just all part of parenthood. :)
And while I'm still on the serious, deep and meaningful train, this is something we found a few weeks ago...I certainly won't say it necessarily describes me, it could be any parent really, but it's certainly a tear-jerker. And it helps on those 'woe is me'/angry at God and the whole world days.
Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen? Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger. "Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew. Marjorie Forrest, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia. Carrie Rutledge, twins. Patron Saint ... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity." Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a premmie."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'mama' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see – ignorance, cruelty, prejudice – and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air. God smiles.
"A mirror will suffice."
